Hello, Freddy

This man is Jackie Earle Haley. Former child star turned Oscar-nominated actor for 2006's Little Children. Rorschach in Watchmen. And now he's Freddy Krueger in Platinum Dunes' upcoming remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street. [x]

I don't really know what to say about his casting. I've never seen Haley act (yes, shame on me). I can tell you that any news related to remaking Elm Street leads to me jumping up and down in a fit of rage. Okay, no, not really. I just sigh somewhat annoyed. I truly feel remaking Elm Street is unnecessary. I know I don't have a say in it, but still..

[...]

DAMNIT! I grew up watching Robert Englund as Freddy Krueger. It started when I was ten. My best friend and I would have sleepovers and for some reason our parents let us rent Freddy, Michael and Jason movies. It's been our thing for over a decade. How excited were we when Freddy vs Jason hit theaters. The first time (and probably last time we thought) ever we got to see these icons on the big screen! Then the Halloween remake happened, which I didn't like, but my best friend kinda did. Then the Friday the 13th remake happened, which I didn't really like, but my best friend kinda did. For the record, she pretty much likes everything. Best friend, I love you, but that's f*ckin annoying. How many times have you made me watch The Haunting?!

Anyways, the point of this story is: STOP RUINING MY CHILDHOOD! It's not funny anymore. What's next? A remake of Scream? That movie is 12 years old. I bet the Platinum Dunes guys are on the phone with the Weinsteins right now.

Back to topic, what is the point of this remake? When the Powers that Be wanted to remake The Hills Have Eyes I thought 'sure, why not.' The original was crappy and dated, so an upgrade didn't seem like such a bad idea. But why Elm Street? Robert Englund as Freddy? Iconic. Johnny Depp sucked into the bed? Classic. Top that, Platinum Dunes! (I really seem to be hating on Platinum Dunes right now so I have to add that I do love The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Yes, I'm a complex person).

There's a small upside. Kyle Gallner, better known as Cassidy 'Beaver' Casablancas on Veronica Mars has signed on to the Elm Street remake as well. Since the inclusion of big bro Dick Casablancas (aka Ryan Hansen) was among the few things Friday the 13th got right (as in, Ryan didn't make me want to stab my eyes out), I'm sure Beaver will amuse me as well.

Btw, I remember there's one movie my best friend doesn't like.. Sex and the City.

Review: Friday the 13th (2009)

I can't believe I haven't written anything yet about Friday the 13th. I definitely needed some time to figure out what I actually think about this movie. I was sorta stunned and not in a good way when I left the theater.

First I want to make clear that I haven't seen all the Friday films. I remember the original (Kevin Bacon!), X and Freddy vs Jason. I know I've seen a couple of the middle ones when I was younger, but that was at least 10 years ago.. so in my world, Jason is this big mindless killing machine. That's not the Jason I saw in this reimagining. This was a killer pretending to be Jason. He was too smart! Why does he have traps? Really, I'd like to know! And the running! Don't get me started on that. I've read that, yes, Jason did run in several Fridays, but I just couldn't wrap my brain around it and take this "Jason" seriously. Good lord, did Michael run in Zombie's Halloween? I can't remember, but that would have ruined that movie even more for me. Ohw, and Jason has weed. And he's very protective of it. Really, I was just very annoyed by this weed subplot. Why did they make the first group of kids go in search of weed? Couldn't the Powers that Be have made them camp counselors arriving to set up the new Camp Crystal Lake or something?

I've read several times that the movie visually looks too much like Nispel's Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That's something I was excited about when I heard about Nispel's involvement. I'm a big fan of his reimagining of TCM, and while I wasn't bothered by the alikeness of it all, it didn't help make this movie feel like a Friday film. It was more a 'crazy pothead killer in the woods who likes to dress up as Jason' movie. And if I had paid €9.50(!!!) to see that, I would've been satisfied, but that wasn't the case.

Now about the casting.. I feel there is no middle ground here. I really liked certain actors and just down right loathed some of the others. Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, Travis van Winkle, Ryan Hansen, Ben Feldman, Aaron Yoo, Arlen Escarpeta and Jonathan Sadowski are all very enjoyable, while I never hope to see Amanda Righetti (don't like her on The Mentalist or in Return to House on Haunted Hill either), Julianna Guill, Willa Ford, Nick Mennell and America Olivo (= a poor man's Shannon Elizabeth) ever again. EVER. Not sure what the point is of having Richard Burgi in the cast if you aren't going to use him.

The kills were pretty decent. While I wasn't fond of Jason having traps, I did like the scene where Ben Feldman stepped into one and witnessed America Olivo tied up in the sleeping bag above the fire. That was my fave death.

This movie had too much pointless nudity.. even for a Friday film. Topless wakeboarding? Really?!?

I think that's it. Maybe I'll like the movie better when I rewatch it, but right now I can't help but feel 'meh' about it. A 3/5.

Seven days...

Trailer Park: Friday the 13th

Oh, Marcus Nispel! I kinda love you and your collaborations with cinematographer Daniel Pearl! I mean, this, a shot from the trailer of Friday the 13th, is pretty:

After watching the F13 trailer, I don't think it will look better than the gorgeousness that is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but I do like the eerie atmosphere. What I don't like is that the trailer spoils too much! I feel like I've seen everyone die already! I like being surprised while watching a movie. Now I know how Richard Burgi will die. Grr arrgh..

I will go see Friday the 13th, because 1) Marcus Nispel directed it! 2) The guy below is all sorts of awesome and hot!

Mmmm.. Jared Padalecki!

And 3) Dick Casablancas!

Okay, yeah, I know his name is Ryan Hansen, but I really hope he will channel Dick Casablancas a bit. He was awesome and hilarious as Dick Casablancas PERIOD! (Plus, it's fun to say and type Dick Casablancas!)

Now Jason has never been a favorite of mine (sorry, Jason!). The men in my life have always been Freddy and Michael. Will this movie change that? Who knows?! I never liked Leatherface much until Nispel worked his magic! Jason, I'll be seeing you on the 13th!

Jared vs Jason

Congrats, universe! You win again! I had no interest whatsoever in the Friday the 13th remake. Hell, I don't even care much for the original movies (except for maybe the first one, cause you gotta respect The Bacon). However, Platinum Dunes pulled out the big guns. After getting Texas Chainsaw Massacre director Marcus Nispel on board, they have now cast Jared Padalecki. Yes, pretty much the only damn person in this world who could make me watch a Friday the 13th remake. As I said before, congratulations, universe. You win. Should I just hand over my 8.75 euros now?

I'm almost getting hope this movie will be good. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake was an all-round good movie: visually stunning, great casting and acting, good script. If anyone could make Camp Crystal Lake look good, it's Nispel. And Padalecki knows his way around the horror genre, thanks to Supernatural, House of Wax, Cry_Wolf and New York Minute. Now if we could just get Brittany Snow and Lindy Booth and Monica Keena and [insert name of pop starlet wanting to act] to stay away from this as far as possible, this should turn out to be okay. Right?!