My Least Favorite Final Girls

I grew up watching the Halloweens and Elm Streets, but never paid much attention to the Final Girl, our female lead, the last chick standing. I was interested in Freddy, not Nancy or Kristen or Alice. It was only after the release of Scream and the resurrection of the (teen) horror genre that I became aware of the 'Final Girl' principle and began rooting for her.

However, there are a few Final Girls I just cannot stand. I was rooting for the killer to you know, kill her. I'm going to present you with my top 3 least favorite Final Girls. Problem here is that I'm not entirely sure it's the characters I hate or the actresses portraying them. I dug up my old (unpublished on this site) reviews and I'm mostly hating on the actresses and their awfulness. I will post these snippets for your my entertainment.

Please note that this blog is written from a Young Hollywood (circa 1997-2003) viewpoint. I miss those days when Freddie Prinze Jr. was in every other release, the American Pie cast was a breath of fresh air and Scarlett J. wasn't overexposed yet, but I digress. Therefore I'm going for post-Scream teen horror Final Girls and not from more obscure flicks. But feel free to post your own 'favorites' from any horror movie in the comment section.

3) Natalie Simon (Alicia Witt) in Urban Legend (1998)
This one pains me, because I actually really like Alicia Witt. It took a few years after Urban Legend for me to like her though. I honestly think she grew into a pretty wonderful actress. But no matter how much like I have for her, I will always hate her character in Urban Legend. Every other character is more interesting than Natalie. She's just kinda there. The rest of the cast seems to be having so much more fun with it: Rebecca Gayheart, Michael Rosenbaum, Tara Reid, Josh Jackson, Loretta Devine, Robert Englund. Even Jared "I don't want to be here" Leto.

An excerpt from my original review after its theatrical release:
'Leading lady Alicia Witt is a bit disappointing. While other films had the likes of Neve Campbell and Jennifer Love Hewitt heading up the cast, Alicia isn't able to keep her character interesting. Her co-stars Rebecca Gayheart, Tara Reid and Michael Rosenbaum are much more entertaining to watch.'

Looking back, I was being kind. Also, why was I giving Jennifer Love Hewitt props for I Know What You Did Last Summer? Her character, Julie James, could be on this list! Anyways, there's a line that always makes me cringe. Natalie says something like 'Someone is taking all these stories and making them reality.' The delivery of that line is just awful. Is it the screenplay? Is it Witt? I don't know, but I know enough to put Natalie on the third spot of my list.

2) Cassie (Melissa Sagemiller) in Soul Survivors (2001)
I have only seen Soul Survivors once, a long time ago, when it was a new rental at my videostore. While time has softened my hate for the movie a bit, I only have to look at my original review to stop me from checking it out again. It's starts with the following sentence: 'Sorry, but this is just crap.' And then I think of Melissa Sagemiller as Cassie and I'm totally cured of the thought of watching Soul Survivors. 'Sagemiller is a terrible actress, who isn't interesting enough to carry a film.' I didn't go into detail in my review and I don't remember Cassie very well, but my strong dislike has remained over the past 8 years.

I also hated Sagemiller in the comedy Sorority Boys, but was kinder when she did Get Over It: 'Melissa Sagemiller as Alison is okay. She seems less bland than she was in movies like Soul Survivors and Sorority Boys.' So I guess that's it. Sagemiller was bland in SS and that's not the kind of quality you want in your Final Girl. She has to be the kind of girl you want to root for!

1) Julia Lund (Laura Regan) in They (2002)
To see how deep my hate goes, you really have to read my original review:

'When Billy (Jon Abrahams) and his friend Julia (Laura Regan) were little, they used to be afraid of monsters, which they called, well, They. Years later, Billy’s still afraid. He calls Julia, they meet up, and he kills himself. Julia starts seeing Them again, and when she comes in contact with Billy’s friends Sam (Ethan Embry) and Terry (Dagmara Dominczyk), she finds out she’s not the only one. Will They get her?
For the love of GOD I hope the answer is YES! Laura Regan has to be the worst actress EVER. And I’m not the kind of person who would say that, but people who are claiming that Tara Reid is awful, have obviously not seen this movie. Laura Regan is the worst actress EVER! I thought Alicia Witt was cringe-worthy, but this is horrible.'

I have never softened up to Regan or her performance. Regan also happened to be the Final Girl in My Little Eye (Bradley Cooper! Kris Lemche!), a movie I have rewatched a couple of times, and it just reinforces my hate for her in They.

I was checking reviews for They and I had to laugh when I read the following over at DarkHorizons: 'Weaker still are the performances. Laura Reagan is as bad as that chick from "Soul Survivors" - overacting and not very convincing at doing the hysterical "seeing things" routine.' I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Tell me, who are your least favorite Final Girls?

Young Hollywood Awards

The Young Hollywood Awards. I used to kinda like 'em. But now? They're a joke right? An award show has no credibility to me if they change the categories every year. It's like they pick people they want to give an award to and then make up an category. It actually pains me to say this, because I LOVE Young Hollywood. But these awards make no sense.

Take a look at the categories in 2008 and 2009. I took these from the official site. I would list the previous years as well, but the official site doesn't even have them up. Huh?

2008
Standout Performance Male (Jonathan Tucker)
Standout Performance Female (Emmanuelle Chriqui)
Exciting New Face Female (Emma Stone)
Exciting New Face Male (Alex Frost)
One to Watch Male (Thomas Dekker, Brady Corbet)
One to Watch Female (Summer Bishil, Brittany Robertson)
Breakthrough Performance Male (Michael Angarano)
Breakthrough Performance Female (Amber Heard)
Breakthrough TV Performance (Vincent Kartheiser)
Hottest Coolest Young Veteran (Abigail Breslin)
Young Hollywood Role Model (Donald Sutherland)
Exciting New Vocalist (Taylor Swift)
Exciting Music Crossover (Jesse McCartney)
Hottest New Film Maker (Matt Reeves)
Hottest New Scene Stealer (Adam G. Sevani)
Hottest New Picasso (Kat von D.)
Newest Red Carpet Correspondent (Lilly Collins)
Crest Whitestrips Onscreen Smile(!?) (Brittany Snow)

2009
YH Superstar of Tomorrow (Annalynne McCord)
YH Action Star Female (Jamie Chung)
YH Action Star Male (Columbus Short)
YH Crossover (Bar Refaeli)
YH Superstar (Evan Rachel Wood)
YH Breakthrough Male (Ed Westwick)
YH Breakthrough Female (Rumer Willis)
YH Artist of the Year (Adam Lambert)
YH Green (Q'Orianka Kilcher)
YH Director (Catherine Hardwicke)
YH Athlete (Shawn Johnson)
YH Comedienne (Ari Graynor)

What happened to the exciting new faces?! The ones to watch?! The standout performances?! And where the hell did the YH Green award come from? How come last year we had Exciting New Vocalist and this year we have Artist of the Year? I'm so confused! And the same goes for the MTV Movie Awards with their ever changing categories. Boy, has that show lost its magic.

Adding categories? Sure, okay. But not too many in one year. And don't change all the existing ones. My tip to you award show people. You're welcome.

A little rant

Ohw gosh, I haven't posted here in ages. And for days I've been wanting to blog about why Doug (Aaron Stanford) from The Hills Have Eyes is one of my favorite movie characters and share my appreciation for the remake. And that I can't sit through the commentary because Aja's accent makes me giggle. But that will have to wait, because I'm tired, hayfeverish and unable to be witty and/or coherent right now.

I will say this: I feel old. I read the gossip sites and the movie sites and lately I feel I'm only reading about Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers, and the Twilight stars. I'm actually trying to think of more teen stars, but I'm drawing a blank (I think that's a good thing). And what pains me the most is that I used to love Young Hollywood. My generation had talented young stars with critical acclaim. And when I'm talking about my generation, you know when I was a teen, I'm just talking about 10 years ago.

Check it: 1999 was the year of American Beauty. Thora Birch and Wes Bentley gave wonderful performances (whatever happened to them, seriously?). Kirsten Dunst was great in The Devil's Arithmetic and The Virgin Suicides, but was also effortlessly funny in Dick. Julia Stiles, Heath Ledger and Joseph Gordon-Levitt were on the rise thanks to the still great 10 Things I Hate About You. Elijah Wood and Christina Ricci were well on their way making their transition from child star to adult roles since their memorable performances in 1997's The Ice Storm. Reese Witherspoon impressed with Election, while the cast of American Pie was a breath of fresh air.

1999 was a great year for young talent. 2009 not so much. Yes, Kristen Stewart is in Twilight and she's a great young actress. But how does Vanessa Hudgens compare to any of the actresses mentioned in the paragraph above? To be honest, I don't know much about the current teen stars. I want to keep it that way. But it kinda makes me sad for the current generation that that's what they have to look up to. People were always making fun of the now defunct WB network and its stars, but really, was it that bad?

Ahhh see, incoherent rambling. Sorry about that! I'm off to watch House on Haunted Hill. The remake one. And at one point I will make a post about remakes. You know, as soon as I figure out where I stand when it comes to those things..

Remembering Brad Renfro

Brad Renfro is dead. I still have trouble believing it. I know there are stages in grief and this must be denial. I feel like I've known Brad for years. I mean, I've been following his career for over a decade! It must be like 13 years by now. I had a huge crush on him growing up. I had a poster on my wall. I still have a scrapbook somewhere with clippings and interviews of him and other teen heartthrobs like Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Devon Sawa (what happened to those guys, anyways?). Yes, I thought he was hot, but I also knew he was a very talented young actor and I've seen The Client, The Cure, Tom & Huck, Sleepers, and Apt Pupil a bunch of times in my younger years. This was all back in the 90s.

Since 2000, I've still followed young Brad Renfro's career. I didn't have the poster up anymore, and I stopped scrapbooking, but I did watch his movies when possible. Brad is such an indie kid, it's sometimes difficult to get his films.. especially living elsewhere than the US. I enjoyed his performances in Ghost World and Happy Campers. While I disliked Bully, Brad was great in it. I still have the July 2001 issue of Movieline that features an interview with him in which he stated: "I don't go out and get arrested anymore. The most extravagant thing I do these days is play golf. I'm like an old man."

It never occurred to me that things would end badly for Brad. I knew his bad reputation. I knew he attempted to steal a yacht ("It was a joke, a joke that went very sour."), and that he had substance abuse problems. I always thought he would overcome his problems and make a comeback. Make people see why there was so much buzz when he made his debut in 1994 with The Client.

I've been sad about it all day. It reminds me of when Jonathan Brandis died back in 2003. Both deaths were so unexpected. It makes me wonder if Brad would have been happier back in Knoxville. How his life would've been if he never did The Client and would never have been in Hollywood. Would he be alive and happy today? The world would have been deprived of his talent, but that would have been worth it, right?

Brad Renfro's death is a great loss for Young Hollywood. A loss that's hopefully been met by a hurricane of love...